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Social or Relational Devastation Can Be Just As Scary As A Tornado

complex trauma Aug 19, 2021

Trauma is the result of anything that is too much for you to handle.  It's anything that creates a protective change in your nervous system, as a result of not having an opportunity to heal or unwind from the original experience. 

While no one can ever be prepared for the overwhelming nature of a natural disaster that may threaten your physical life, there's another kind of traumatic source that threatens a different kind of consequence: social or relational devastation can be just as scary as a tornado.

Generally speaking, trauma is an automatic, protective response (that involves brain, body and nervous system processes), that sticks around and impacts your life after an overwhelming event has occurred (or after it has started). Trauma is an experience wherein your automatic protective response is triggered by anything that feels like the original event. 

But COMPLEX TRAUMA occurs IN RELATIONSHIPS, and that is exactly what makes it intricate, difficult and "complex." Because the triggering situations are the very things that you are surrounded by every day. They're also the things that most people tend to want, need and crave (that is: good and healthy connections).  Therefore in the experience of complex trauma, relationships become triggering environments for self-protection, despite constantly needing to engage with other people in order to exist within a modern-day society, and also despite relationships being potential sources of the love, security, protection and comfort that you want. 

Complex trauma is so tricky.

 

Tender nervous systems unwind in environments of connection, validation and compassion. Curious as to why? You might be interested in learning about why tender nervous systems feels stuck.