Clarity In A Desire For Something Different

Do you desire change?

We all hope and try for change in many areas:

• Change in our lifestyle habits: eating better, sleeping and exercising regularly
• Change in our relationships: If only they would stop..., or, I will be more tolerant of...
• Change in our energy allocations: I will be MORE attentive at home, or I will put MORE energy into growing my business or career
• Change in satisfaction levels: feeling more happiness and more gratitude

And we all try so many things to create, curate, force, bring about improvement in our lives. The United States spends over $10 billion dollars a year on self-improvement.

But I wonder if on our quest for change, perhaps we skip an important question:

Why do I want this to change? 

Or to phrase that another way: What is it about my current experience that feels like it needs to be different?

I'm not arguing for a radical acceptance of shitty situations, change is a wonderful (and natural) process! 

But without knowing the felt experience of what exactly, feels like it needs to be different, how could we possibly know HOW to go about pursuing change, how could be possibly know what will or will not be helpful on our journey, or when we've eventually succeeded?

✨ Without knowing the felt experience that compels us to grow or to transform-or the felt experience of what growth or transformation would feel when it arrives-we may just be shadowboxing, or throwing spaghetti at the wall. 

Our efforts may not be clear, or aligned.

And that means that we risk stopping before succeeding, or pursuing methods that aren't actually helpful, or aren't helpful in the way we need them to be ✨

You might ask yourself:

What is it about this situation, that feels like it needs to be different?

And if it feels okay to, you might notice what sensations arise in your body in response to that question.  Perhaps there are movements that you feel inclined to do, or sounds that you want to make ("grrrrr" or a big audible sigh, for two examples).

I wonder if what comes in response to the question, provides you with a more informed, or nuanced understanding of the exact next right action is (even if the action is to lie down and rest, or to let out the sadness by crying).

References:

LaRosa, J. (2021). $10.4 Self-Improvement Market Pivots to Virtual Delivery During the Pandemic. https://blog.marketresearch.com/10.4-billion-self-improvement-market-pivots-to-virtual-delivery-during-the-pandemic